"Man is not the creature of circumstance; circumstances are the creatures of men." (Benjamin Disraeli)
I know your significant other has hurt you. I know your romantic relationship would be so much better if they would just stop doing this, and start doing that.
And yet, I also know this: You are not a passive bystander in your relationships. You are an active contributor, even if you don’t think so (being passive, for instance, might be your contribution to the very problems you complain about).
A challenge for us all: This weekend, try to think of one thing you absolutely know you could do differently, and do it.
Even if you think you’re not the one who needs to change.
Even if you think it won’t do any good, ‘cos the other person won’t change in response (or even notice, perhaps).
Even if you think making any change will lesson your leverage and make you feel like your spouse is winning.
Do it for no other reason than to look yourself in the mirror and know you're not a helpless victim.