"A loud voice cannot compete with a clear voice, even if it is a whisper. " (Barry Neil Kaufman, Happiness is a Choice)
There's something calming and authoritative about quietness that modern society doesn't appreciate, or know how to cultivate. We get anxious and feel like we have to compete for airwaves with so many other voices.
But when we throw our weight around by yelling and complaining at people in order to get them to change or listen or empathize, we're not really inviting them closer. We're just venting our own frustrations and anxieties, and inadvertently pushing them away.
At best, this venting comes across like a blustery wind people have to simply ride out until we blow over; at worst, we come across as a volcano, spewing lava all over people (and then we wonder why they don't want to come closer and listen).
It takes real discipline and genuine self-control to speak with a tone people actually want to hear--not through gritted teeth, but through clarity, confidence, and calm.
(Next week I'll let you know how you can start training your tone, and experiencing lasting life change, with me as your guide.)