The Roots of the Problem

“Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped.” (African proverb)

Whenever we fail, we're tempted to over-examine the big event itself, and under-examine all the decisions we made leading up to it. For instance:

  • You blow up at your spouse in the car, arguing over directions, instead of looking at the resentment you've built up about all the little ways you feel unappreciated.

  • You flail away during a presentation at work, beating yourself up as a bad public speaker, instead of looking at how you spent too little time preparing and practicing.

  • Your kid has her first fender-bender, and you chastise her for neglecting to get pictures of the other guy’s license and insurance, instead of focusing on the fact you never led her through a similar role-play scenario when you were teaching her to drive.

Examining the incident is not nearly as important as investigating all of its roots. This is good news, because usually what came before is something we can control.

(All three of those examples are autobiographical. The only reason I’m able to talk about those failures now is because I’ve chosen to accept them, admit them, and learn from them.)

Recent Posts

See All

A Magic Wand for the World

"Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.” (William Ellery Channing) If you had a magic wand, one which could change the world’s thinking abo

The Worst That Can Happen

"It’s a huge step forward to realize that the worst thing to happen is never the event, but the event and losing your head." (Ryan Holiday) You’re facing a financial deficit, for instance, and you’r

It's Getting Tense These Days

"But I must confess that I am not afraid of the word 'tension'. There is a type of constructive, nonviolent tension which is necessary for growth.” (Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.) To say things can g

Contact Info

Tel: 678-672-6410

Email: ​

  • Facebook Social Icon
  • LinkedIn Social Icon
  • YouTube Social  Icon

Site designed by Brendan Kaplan